Not many people know of this, but I live with a regret of not seeing daddy for the last time. We had a really rough period as a family weeks before his passing, and instead of trying to deal with the matter, I chose to run away. I stayed out late after school to avoid having dinner with him at home. I moved out of house to live with my aunt. I did everything I could to avoid seeing him. Up till the very day he asked to spend New Year's Eve together, I turned him down. I typed, but subsequently deleted the "I love you" at the end of my message to him. Little did I know, that was my last chance to say those words to him.
Up till this very day, I resent myself for letting my emotions get the better of me five years ago. And I swore never to do the same to anyone ever again. No matter how I'm made to feel, nothing's more important than the way I make others feel. I'd constantly ask myself, "what if this was the last?"
But when it comes to you, I feel like I'm not strong enough. Your message from a week ago asking to meet weighs in the back of my mind. I'm torn between knowing what I should do. I'm afraid, I'd hate to reject you, but I just can't bring myself to see you. I can't think of a reason as to why you'd want to see me after all this time you've denied me. Enlighten me, will you?