Today marks the second year in my relationship with God. This weekend was spent reflecting a lot on how much God has seen me through from where I was two years ago. Feeling extremely rejected when things were not going well for me back then, I questioned who God is, and struggled to make sense of all the pain “He was putting me through”. But He told me that the pain I’m feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming. He promised He’d see me through. And He really, really did.
God walked very closely with me in this two years, and has given me way more than I ever deserve. I remember how uncomfortable I was during those times I attended service alone. Everything felt so foreign to me. But at the same time, going to church gave me the peace I longed for. He then made this journey a lot less lonely with cell, where I've formed close relationships with some of the most sincere and genuine humans I know. I also remember the very first time I saw the dancers worship on stage. It was beautiful, and it made me miss dancing. (I’ve been wanting to go back to dance for the longest time.) But as a new believer, I didn’t think I was good enough to be dancing in church. I didn’t think I was worthy enough to be dancing for God. But God knows our heart's desires. He paved a way to dance ministry, which has allowed me to take this relationship with Him even deeper in the past 9 months.
This weekend, God sent me on my very first platform experience. I was initially only asked to join backstage to intercede and pray for Veron and Ian, as well as to understand more about how platform is being done. Besides, my ankle has yet to fully recover, and I've never really managed a flag before (other than the 2 practices we had). But while waiting back stage and hoping that I don’t get sent out, Veron and Ian received confirmation that God wanted me to dance. This happened right before worship started, and my was I nervous! But when God calls, you obey, even if you feel the super unprepared, right? Hahaha. I'm super glad I did, for that moment turned out to be one of the closest encounter I’ve ever experienced with God through dance. It felt so surreal being able to worship Him so freely on stage, something I never saw myself doing two years ago. He reminded me of how I can really do all things through Him. He reminded me to never have to worry if I was doing it right, if I was good enough, if people down stage can tell that it's my first time; because when it comes to worship, it's all about an audience of one and only one, and that's God.
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Dear God, I thank you for this two years. Truly, you are close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. All that I am, I owe it to you. Thank you for all that you've done. Thank you for loving me so fiercely. Thank you for this amazing gift of dance. I pray that You continue to use me mightily to touch the lives of others, and to spread Your goodness. Here's to many more August 27s. In Jesus' most precious name, Amen.